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Snapping at Your Fiancé? Why You Need Sleep Despite Wedding Stress

Do you feel like you and your fiancé are snapping at the smallest of things? You're not alone. Wedding stress can come between the closest of couples. You may not realize it but lack of a good nights rest can be adding fuel to a wedding-related fire. Wedding stress can push you into a state of sleep deprivation, which in turn, continues to feed the stress that's coming between you and your fiance.

The good news—the quality and quantity of your sleep are heavily influenced by your personal habits. If you focus on developing healthy sleep habits and reducing stress before bed, you can restore emotional balance and focus on what’s most important—your relationship with your fiance.

Sleep Deprivation’s Effect on Emotional Stability

In general, you need seven to nine hours of slumber for the body to be fully rejuvenated. Sleep deprivation takes effect when you get less than seven hours, and the effects get progressively worse the less rest you get. The process of making a guest list, seating chart, finding a dress, booking a photographer, and everything else that goes along with a wedding can cause stress that pushes you into a state of sleep deprivation more often than not.

Unfortunately, the brain changes how it functions during sleep deprivation. The area of your brain responsible for processing emotions becomes over sensitive and overreacts to any negative thoughts or emotions. Normally, when a negative thought enters your head, the logic center of your brain allows you to think the situation through so you have a rational response. However, without enough rest, the logic center becomes less active.

Heightened emotional responses that lack logic and reasoning can get you in hot water with your fiancé. You may find yourself nitpicking or arguing over small wedding details that don't really matter.

Sleep Habits that Help

You can rid yourself of the effects of sleep deprivation in one or two nights of solid rest. Healthy sleep begins in a bedroom with ideal conditions. That means all light is blocked out, noise is at a minimum, and the temperature stays at a comfortable 60 to 68 degrees. Keep in mind that you may need blackout curtains, a space heater, or a white noise machine to create the right conditions for you.

You’ll also want to:

Make Bedtime Sacred: Really, this means to go to bed at the same time every night, even on weekends. A consistent bedtime helps your brain know when to release sleep hormones.

Use Your Bedtime Routine for Stress Relief: You'll need to deal with your wedding stress before going to bed, and your bedtime routine presents the perfect opportunity. Try including activities like meditation and yoga that can help bring your heart rate and blood pressure down. You can also go with the classic favorites like a warm bath, warm glass of milk, or reading a book.

Eat Evenly Spaced, Healthy Meals: In part, your body uses meal timing to calculate the release of sleep hormones. Evenly spaced meals solidify your body’s natural rhythms that time your sleep-wake cycle.

Put the Screens Down: You might be tempted to check your guest list or scroll through social media before bed. However, the bright light from some electronic devices interferes with the release of sleep hormones. Try turning them off two to three hours before bed to fall asleep faster.


While better sleep may not solve all of your problems, it can certainly help you and your fiance look at disagreements more objectively. This is a special time in your life. With adequate Z's, you can grow closer to your fiance so you can have a strong start to your marriage.

About the writer: Stacey L. Nash is a Seattle area writer for whose insomnia led her to research all aspects of R&R. With a degree in communications from the University of Puget Sound, she helps put sleep into the forefront of the health and wellness conversation.    
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